Sometimes I feel guilty just watching my boys play by themselves. I mean, we’ve all heard it, ‘Enjoy this time when they’re little. It goes by so fast!’ And lately it seems I don’t have ‘play’ time with them as often as I’d like. Mostly because they want to play on their own. Or, as they’ve told me, I don’t play the way they want me to.
On the other hand, they need time to play by themselves, to figure out who they are, what they like. Playtime with others offers some things, but alone is an entirely different animal.
Sweet Pea is so clingy sometimes. Other times he wants me around to watch him. Still other times he asks me to not watch him play. Other moms assure me this is a normal 5-year-old thing and nothing to do with me as a person.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m enjoying watching him grow into his own self. He is, after all, an individual. He’s not like me in so many ways, but in so many ways we’re the same.
I guess I’m just sitting back some this summer, as you can tell by the lack of posts since school got out a month ago. I’m enjoying my boys. Watching them grow. Trying to figure out what makes them tick.
Still, sometimes I feel guilty watching them play by themselves. I want to be in there with them. Exploring, building, talking, hearing their hearts. Giving them space to grow…and wanting to hold onto them forever.