Loneliness

I’m feeling a little guilty today. See, I have this knee ‘condition’ for which I should work out regularly. I’ve also had this little cold for about a week as well as this numb headache since last night. Needless to say instead of working out today while Sweet Pea was in preschool (at the Y no less!) I skipped out and came home.

To be honest, it’s not just those things that made me just come home. Some days when Sweet Pea is at preschool and I have those precious couple of hours to care for me, I feel lonely. I mean, I’m in the gym working out, having time to take care of me, getting my body back (even though it’s been 5 years I still have that pudge) and am in the midst of other moms with the same desires to feel better, feel healthy…I still feel lonely. I don’t ‘connect’ with those other moms. I’m just in the same room with them. Maybe say a polite ‘hello’, but don’t truly interact with them.

It’s not that we don’t have anything in common. Maybe we do. It’s not that I feel less than them even though their bodies may be more in shape than mine, I know our goals are probably the same since we’re in the same place doing basically the same thing.

Some days after my workout I return to the preschool room, collect Sweet Pea and his things and think, ‘That’s what ‘me’ time looks like? It sure isn’t uplifting. I sure don’t feel encouraged or ready to finish this day.’

I just feel lonely.

Are you lonely, too? Whether it be at the gym or going to a mom’s club type of meeting, or a ladies’ church event…do you find yourself wondering if it will be easier to make friends when your kids are in the upper grades, or out of the house even though you thought it would be much easier to make friends once you had kids?

I think a lot of moms are lonely on some level. Whether they have little babies, young kids, teens, college kids, are empty nesters. I think we all have expectations of what our ‘community’ of moms will look like, how we will connect with others, but it is all so different than when we were kids and could simply play together or maybe share a secret.

I just was trying to get this headache to disappear and was just about to collect my mind and return to the Y to get my Sweet Pea, but thought I’d check facebook first, since that’s my usual source for adult communication throughout the day, and came across something that made me go to Finding Joy. I quickly came to this page about how “Motherhood isn’t meant to be lonely”. It spoke to me so much that I just had to sit down and type this out.

If you can relate to what I’ve shared today, please consider checking out Finding Joy. Let me know I’m not alone.

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